What Should I Do?

Do What Your Told

Can you relate? My whole life, I've been told what to do.
Whether it was by my parents, my teachers, my church leaders, or the bible...
Now that I've been an adult for quite a while, I haven't really had as much pressure to conform or live up to others' expectations.

Today in therapy, I had the realization that I've been more or less chasing my tail for yearssss.

I've constantly asked myself what should I be doing? This led me to spending an enormous amount of mental space and energy trying to establish what is "true" or what this experience of consciousness is.

I've had to accept that I don't know and that as a human being, I am not equiped with the ability to know what all this really is or the most ideal way to live.

Instead of worrying about if I'm doing it right, I'm ready to just let my life unfold however it does. This doesn't mean I won't keep pushing myself to achieve the things I dream of, it just means I'm not going to not take it all so seriously and try to enjoy the ride a little more.

Anyway, I hope in some way this can help you on your journey.

Also, I want to say, while, there are obvious challenges and "damage" that I've had to overcome because of my upbringing, I am not condemning or even saying it was bad. It made me who I am today and while it's taken a long time to reprogram and heal some of those things that were indoctrinated into me, I am grateful for all of it.